HOW TO LOOK HOT

I am going to be honest with you here, because you need it. No man wants your wrecked-ass self. He may say that he likes you “without make-up” or he likes a “casual woman” and he may be being completely sincere, but men have been tricked by the media. If you believe him, then you are just being lazy and you will eventually end up in a Snuggie, alone. Let me make this clear; have you seen a tampon commercial?? Enough said. Men believe that while we are bleeding from our ({}) with cramps surging through our abdomen and a pounding headache that we want to dance the tango after hiking a mountain….and not sweating during either. So, I hope you see the great divide between what men think they want and what they actually want. It is your job to know the difference, but I will give you some basic translations that pertain to looks.

Men say Natural- think naturally fell out of a hair-color ad; not actually natural
Men say Casual- think tiny velour tracksuit; not weightwatchers anonymous
Men say Professional- tight pencil skirt, loose sexy bun, pointy heels and a lacy bra; not truly something you could work in
Men say Comfortable- something loose enough that when you bend over they can see your tits

There is a “too hot” for some guys or just plain old inappropriate and this can be a tricky tight rope for you tarts. Don’t wear your tallest heels if you need to WALK somewhere. Smart men will gather right away that you are stupid and easy. Don’t wear a thong that peeks out from your low-riders to meet his parents. Don’t wear a string bikini to the water park unless you are trying to marry one of Dog-the-Bounty-Hunters friends….in other words dress the part of the role you want to land.

Side note: You always look hotter in their kitchen.

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