I wanted to see Mike Tyson’s one man show. Part empathy, part fascination, part justification in my attempt to be the coolest Unicorn on the block…if your block is in Compton anyway. These tickets were purchased a month ago and I was just waiting for the right dude to present himself to score the invite. … Continue reading

Are Unicorns Monogamous?

I’ve always been impressed with any species that “mates for life”. When it’s a span of a year or two like the termite…I can hang with that. Gibbons can live 40 years, Bald eagles 20+ years, wolves and swans each around 15 years- and that adds up to an impressive amount of monogamy!

There is the age-old argument that when humans (and Unicorns) had shorter life cycles and a decidedly more strenuous life, monogamy was practical. How many lovers could one really have when you died at 35 while fighting non-stop diseases, tending the crops, raising kids, cooking, mending, and generally stinking most of the time? Well, times have changed and there are all sorts of debates raging on the topic from mono to bi and poly. Haven’t we all wondered on occasion what is “right” or what is “best”? “Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to blow my husband when I don’t feel like it….and maybe she’ll help me with the laundry too?” That fantasy doesn’t last long!!

The Unicorn is not going too deep on this topic but would like to skim the surface with a single horrendous realization; “Even though a whole lot of crap comes out of my mouth, I am shocked and appalled that I seem to only like one man at a time!!” Thank goodness they don’t last long or I’d never get any variety.

Is anyone else afflicted with this problem? Is it a female thing? Please enlighten me so we can get back to the good stories!!