Are Unicorns Monogamous?

I’ve always been impressed with any species that “mates for life”. When it’s a span of a year or two like the termite…I can hang with that. Gibbons can live 40 years, Bald eagles 20+ years, wolves and swans each around 15 years- and that adds up to an impressive amount of monogamy!

There is the age-old argument that when humans (and Unicorns) had shorter life cycles and a decidedly more strenuous life, monogamy was practical. How many lovers could one really have when you died at 35 while fighting non-stop diseases, tending the crops, raising kids, cooking, mending, and generally stinking most of the time? Well, times have changed and there are all sorts of debates raging on the topic from mono to bi and poly. Haven’t we all wondered on occasion what is “right” or what is “best”? “Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to blow my husband when I don’t feel like it….and maybe she’ll help me with the laundry too?” That fantasy doesn’t last long!!

The Unicorn is not going too deep on this topic but would like to skim the surface with a single horrendous realization; “Even though a whole lot of crap comes out of my mouth, I am shocked and appalled that I seem to only like one man at a time!!” Thank goodness they don’t last long or I’d never get any variety.

Is anyone else afflicted with this problem? Is it a female thing? Please enlighten me so we can get back to the good stories!!


One response

  1. Haha! Unicorn . . . did you really say that one at a time is your thing? That IS surprising, but sweet. I have plenty of that gene, and I tend to like them for a plenty long time if they don’t turn out to be completely self absorbed or otherwise. . um. . . shitty. If he’s funny I like him longer. And if he thinks I’m funny, that shit could go on for decades.

Oh yeah?! Say it!! ;-)

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