Are Unicorns Monogamous?

I’ve always been impressed with any species that “mates for life”. When it’s a span of a year or two like the termite…I can hang with that. Gibbons can live 40 years, Bald eagles 20+ years, wolves and swans each around 15 years- and that adds up to an impressive amount of monogamy!

There is the age-old argument that when humans (and Unicorns) had shorter life cycles and a decidedly more strenuous life, monogamy was practical. How many lovers could one really have when you died at 35 while fighting non-stop diseases, tending the crops, raising kids, cooking, mending, and generally stinking most of the time? Well, times have changed and there are all sorts of debates raging on the topic from mono to bi and poly. Haven’t we all wondered on occasion what is “right” or what is “best”? “Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to blow my husband when I don’t feel like it….and maybe she’ll help me with the laundry too?” That fantasy doesn’t last long!!

The Unicorn is not going too deep on this topic but would like to skim the surface with a single horrendous realization; “Even though a whole lot of crap comes out of my mouth, I am shocked and appalled that I seem to only like one man at a time!!” Thank goodness they don’t last long or I’d never get any variety.

Is anyone else afflicted with this problem? Is it a female thing? Please enlighten me so we can get back to the good stories!!


LA Living

Stories like this don’t only happen in LA, but the great variety of interesting characters here makes it more likely for you to have your mind blown on any given day. The Unicorn views herself as open-minded and jaded, not much makes her flinch or blush. But there are some things that you just don’t expect!

Since my pal gifted/unloaded her stray dog on me I needed to take the little rat to the vet. I haven’t been in about a year and I reached out to the doctor that I have used for years, Dr. John. When I asked to make an appointment I was told that he changed practices (and how!) and was given his new digits. Oh, okay…so I call the new place and leave a message for him. When he calls back (with the same voice he has always had) we have a lovely chat. I tell him that I think the new practice is too far for me but that I would love to take him to lunch in the near future. When I ask for his email and it starts with “Jasmine” I assume it’s some new doggie birth control. It’s not. Just before we hang up he/she tells me that she goes by Jasmine now. Well, this is going to be one interesting lunch!

Any good stories out there on the topic? Tell me!